It's a bright sunny day in the wonderful, yet ignorant world of a beautiful child. They don't know anything bad, only bliss. There's a cute little girl from Ms. Furnish's 1st grade class playing near the monkey bars. She's leaning next to a pole by herself just looking up at the clouds as the hands of free time tick away until the soon to be coveted nap time announces it's presence. She just stands there watching some of the other kids play four square on the blacktop, holding on to that glimpse of hope that one of them will call her over to play. Then, of course, another handsome little lad wanders her way. As he approaches, thoughts race around this young girls brain. There's a Daytona 500 in full effect in there. "Why's he coming over here? Why do I care that he's coming over here? I want to know what he wants to know about me? I hope he likes flowers and pink." Thoughts are at 200 mph with no signs of slowing. "Do I smell? Do I smell good? Oh gosh he's getting closer. Stop talking in your head. He's here. Now, words. You know some. Initiate voice box for lift off...and action." The boy arrives all in his pre-pre-pre pubescent glory. He swoops up. Inches near. A wide grin reaches across her face. And then without a moment's hesitation...THUD! A swift kick to the shin results in a bruised fibula and a broken heart from an early age. This seems like the beginning of a damaged girl.Woes you can only expect. But...this story is about that boy. That's me. I'm that asshole.
I know I know, you were all caught up in the moment with the little girl and her hopes of having friends, her first crush, and her first shot at happiness. I'm sorry, well not really, but it's about time someone focused on the asshole. The unfiltered, unadulterated, uncoordinated, unconventional. unequivocal, unbelievable asshole. That is me now. Present Kyle. I have noticed trends in my life that lead me to firmly believe that I am the utmost of assholes. I bleed apathy through and through.
Now hopefully I haven't lost you here. The previous posts that you've read have revealed me me to be an optimistic, profound, free-thinker. I have and always will be that way. Just because I think doesn't mean that I don't think honest, some call them mean, things. There just comes a point in every man, woman, and man-woman's life that they come to the realization that they are the world's most ruthless asshole aside from Kim Jong-Il. The realization plants its roots at such an early age that if we caught it early enough we would have a world full of more honest people. Again my version of honesty has been interpreted by many of my peers as assholery. Honestly, no fucks are given in that realm of giving a fuck.
You see...present Kyle is far from pre-present Kyle in the area of sympathy towards others' feelings and problems. I used to be a romantic, considerate, and completely naive human being. Those are all nice traits to have, but scars change a person. Not necessarily the look of them, but more so the moments that led to those permanent scars. I evolved into this walking cynic I am today in the blink of an eye. I don't regret it.
Anyways, this isn't a discussion about my personal life. This is more of a talk about how it's okay to be that asshole, and of course how it's not. Real life tip #1: You can't be a push over. You will not survive. You will just become a conversation starter when your superiors are guffawing over your inadequacies while sipping mai-thais at hotel bar. In this instance it's okay to be an asshole. Really it just means to stand up for yourself, or people will trample over you in their $300 loafers. That's the mentality I've come to learn quite easily. Blame an ignorant tyrant of a boss and an ex-girlfriend/former first love, yeah you get the idea. You will become all the wiser as you learn about moments in life where you should have stood up and let your voice be heard, and it will be heard. You'll also learn about the times where you should sit back and listen. You will learn the latter through mistakes. It's a form of success in a way. You see this blog is starting to make sense. Kudos it only took me twelve posts to do so!
After one's bout of asshole adventures and such, you start to reconnect with the romanticism and compassion your morals and beliefs were originally based on. By all means am I not saying that this is a simple endeavor. It'll be tough as nails. You'll probably cry a few times. Readjust all of your beliefs while still searching for a viable career to suit your love of life. It's a process. Processes take time. Just like waiting on the microwave to finish. But don't worry you will end up with your "fully cooked" packaged product.
Some final thoughts: Don't Be An Asshole! It's gross and is never clean. Don't be that person.
Stay fresh. Stay clean. Repeat.
There's an asshole among us.
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