First, inhale like you're a human vacuum on hyper speed. Second, hold that gust of carbon dioxide and ponder. You ask yourself "Why the hell am I pondering at a time like this? I have to breathe soon. I have stuff to get done." I ponder a lot. I apologize ahead of time for speaking in first person. I'm deceiving you of course. I could care less if you appreciated my first person perspective. Least of my worries. Also, if you(the people who know how to read) didn't realize this blog is coming from a first person perspective then just go home. Okay okay back to the issue of one pondering while breathing. One should do this while they're holding all of that excess gas, because you're about exhale a whole abundance of negative energy. Ponder about all the bad shit you're going through and how you can blow it out like hot air. Just like that you're breathing got a little lighter. Third, exhale. That's all I can say about that.
Now you're probably wondering what's all this talk about breathing compared to the title of "Finding Nikki". Alright here we go. Quick breakdown: I just saw the movie Silver Lining Playbook. Phenomenal, enough said. Brief synopsis of the film is Pat(Bradley Cooper) is taken out of psychiatric care. He landed there after a he suffered from a bipolar breakdown after he brutally beat down Nikki's, his wife's, lover. After he's released he's determined to find Nikki at any cost. He's part delusional so he conjures up an extravagant plan to get her back by using loose and confused Tiffany to help out. The ending is a bit predictable, but then again what isn't these days. It's the journey of how he got there that's key in this story.
The mistake here is that journey for Nikki. A mistake that will leave you seasoned yet scarred. You'll gain a couple of experience notches, but you'll regret it while your heart blends on slow grind, and I mean dead slow. It's the most painful way of course. You'll have your eyes on the prize. Oh hell it'll be a glorious prize too. Your return to the promised land will be just what you desired all along. You can just sense the heavenly tingling of milk and honey vibrating on your taste buds. You're alive. Sensational am I right? Perfect you just envisioned the perfect scenario. Now you're so caught up in "Nikki" you totally forgot about the journey you're on. You may have your eyes on the prize, but you have no idea where you're at.
Now this is where you halt at succeeding one mistake at a time. You just start making mistake after mistake you become content. Get used to sucking and failing because knock knock, front door delivery of disappointment has arrived postmarked personally to you. This is the point of when you forget why you even wanted "Nikki" in the first place. We've all had a Nikki in our lives or we still do. She sets up camp with us as we try to grow. She convinces us that she needs us, or that we are here for each other, but you can't have me. "Why?" we always ask. We never know the reason why Nikki won't finally be with us. We are plagued with false hope and the glitter of what we think gold feels like in our palms. Therefore, a long period of limbo ensues. Well of course, until a Tiffany comes around.
Finding Nikki shouldn't be a goal, and a majority of the time it isn't. She will come like a tornado and you can't do a damn thing about it. You'll be swept up in her whirlwind faster than you can tie your shoes. We're all on a journey. We go on many. All of them very different. Some short. Some long. However, it's still a journey. On this journey as you set out to grasp what you're searching for, you find something or someone rather, that you never expected. You usually find yourself. Yeah. You. The one listening to all of this bullshit I'm spitting here. Take it from me; your very own Nikki connoisseur. I've sought for so many of them I bought my heart a bullet proof vest from all the pain I received. But one day I realized I was on a journey. I realized finding me is priority number one. The and only then that lucky one will find me. I'm here waiting. Please take a number. I will be with each and every one of you heart destroyers in a moment.
As profound as I try to sound, a sound piece of advice I can give to you all if you need it or not is to breathe. Take one breathe at a time, one Nikki at a time, and most importantly, one journey at a time. Take the journey for what it's worth. Give the journey worth. You'll regret parts of it, yet you'll adore other parts. In the process you're guaranteed to find something. Whether it's what you've never known you wanted or something you don't want. At least you know. And isn't not knowing one of the most intense stress causers to date? Stress is awful. Peace is awesome. Do the math. Stay happy. Breathe.
Here's a cheers to yet another blog. Take with it what you may, I just say things. It's 5 o'clock in the morning and the day is just beginning. Sip that coffee, work a little bit, learn a little more, laugh when necessary, and love a lot. Yes the cynic has a soul, go figure. Wake up world. Start a new journey. Just remember: put your pants on one leg at a time. Jumping in is quite the hassle. Try explaining an injury like that to your friends. Any whoooo.
Good day to you all. Carpe the hell out of this diem.
I'm Kyle. I like hugs.
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